Unfamiliarly Perfect
by weirdgirl42
Summary: Post-Finale. Skye sees something on the surveillance cams and realizes there's only one person who might be able to help. Phillinda. Spoilers for the finale. NOW COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I know this will come as a huge surprise to everyone, but I don't own Agents of SHIELD._

**Chapter 1**

Melinda May wasn't sleeping. This was not a terribly unusual occurrence, even so late at night. Sleep had never come particularly easy for her, even as a child. Her chosen profession had only made it worse, and the last several days had all but insured that her normal levels of insomnia would be heightened for the foreseeable future. SHIELD had all but disbanded, Ward was a traitor, Fitz might never fully recover, and even though the Playground was a secure base she was still uneasy bring in a new place.

So there she was, laying in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room. They had been at the Playground for almost a week now and she still missed the Bus every day. During the day she worked with Coulson and Billy, trying to come up with a strategy. She acted as a sounding board for Skye who was trying to figure out how to track down agents who were still loyal to SHIELD but trying to stay off the radar. She checked in with Tripp who had stationed himself with Simmons in the lab, making sure the young woman ate and slept. She stood outside Fitz's makeshift hospital room, trying to stare the machines into submission, willing his eyes to open.

At night, she stared at the unfamiliar ceiling of her bunk, listening for anything out of the ordinary. Ready to react to any danger that might be brought down on her already wounded and vulnerable team. She listened for gunshots, for C4, for the sound of planes or helicopters or trucks but all she heard each night was the air ventilation system's gentle hum.

Until tonight. Tonight there was a soft knocking and swallowed sobs outside her door. May moved quickly and opened the door to reveal Skye, eyes wide and tears running down her face.

"What's wrong?" May asked, her face not betraying the fact that her heartbeat had begun to race with adrenaline.

"You have to help him," Skye said through the panicked sobs. "He won't stop and he won't listen to me and if this is happening to him then it's gonna happen to me too and we have to fix it but he won't stop and you have to help him." The words raced out of her mouth so quickly that she began to hyperventilate.

May placed a hand on Skye's shoulder. "Look at me Skye," she said firmly, but not unkindly. "Look at me, and breathe."

Skye's eyes met the older agent's and May took exaggerated calm breaths. Skye unconsciously began to mimic May's actions and after a moment her breathing was under control.

"Now tell me what's wrong," May said.

Skye held out the tablet she'd been holding and May saw that it was a video surveillance of one of the Playground storage areas. "I was working on the surveillance firewalls," Skye explained. "I couldn't sleep and I just wanted to…I just…"

May nodded in understanding. Just like she would sit in the dark listening intently for any signs of trouble, Skye found solace in checking the surveillance footage. She looked at the screen and saw a figure moving against a wall. There were markings all over the wall and May could see some sort of tool in the figure's hand. Even in the dark and on the small screen, she would know that silhouette anywhere.

"I tried to talk to him, I tried to make him stop," Skye said, her voice becoming frantic again. "But it's like he didn't know I was there."

May felt her chest tighten. She watched as Coulson continued to make small markings in the wall, filling in the giant diagram of…something. She looked at Skye and saw the panic in the young woman's eyes. May knew Skye's fear was not only for Coulson, but from the knowledge that the same drug likely responsible, flowed through her own veins as well. If Coulson was going crazy, would Skye be next?

There wasn't time to contemplate this right now. May ushered Skye into the room and sat her down on the bed. "Stay here," she said. Something in her voice stopped any hesitation or defiance Skye might have felt at the order but May could still see the fear and feel Skye's body shaking. In a move that seemed both foreign and yet completely appropriate, May touched Skye's face and wiped away a tear. "I'm not going to let anything happen to either of you," she said.

Skye nodded and May quickly left the room.

_TBC_

_Please review, they make my day._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

May moved silently into the storage room. She could hear what she now realized was Coulson's knife etching into the wall. In the dim light she could see his muscles tensing under the grey t-shirt he wore. She could see that his neck was wet with sweat. From the way his body moved, the writings should be frantic, and yet his arm moved slowly and steadily across the improvised canvass. It was a strange juxtaposition and May found herself unable to do anything but watch.

Until two words came out of his mouth.

"May…please."

She was at his side in an instant. Grabbing his forearm she held his hand still, careful to keep an eye on the sharp blade. She could feel him fighting against her with strength she always knew he had but which others usually underestimated. For several moments they pushed against each other, sweat rolling down his face and her eyes staring into his. She could see the fight, the struggle in his face.

Slowly, she leaned until her forehead rested against his. She wasn't sure why she did it, it just felt like the right thing to do. All at once the fight washed out of him like a pressure valve had been released. She felt his eyes close and the lines in his forehead smoothed. The knife fell from his hand and he sagged against her. She held him upright, and then his arms wrapped around her and she just held him.

She lost track of how long they stood there, foreheads touching, arms refusing to let go. The last time they had been this close had been a few days after Bahrain when he'd found her in the midst of a panic attack on the roof of the shield safe house they'd been staying in. He'd pulled her away from the edge and, in a stunning act of bravery knowing her propensity to lash out, held her against his chest as she sobbed for what seemed like hours.

Now, there was no sobbing, only the sound of his ragged breathing and the ever-present hum of the air vents.

Eventually she felt him shiver and she realized he needed to change clothes. She pulled away slowly, her forehead the last thing to break contact. Coulson looked up at her and she could see the unshed tears in his eyes, held back by fear.

Neither spoke. May simply put a hand on his shoulder and led him back to his bunk. He followed her lead without hesitation, raising his arms when she indicated so that she could peel off his sodden shirt. She took a towel from the attached bathroom and quickly dried his face and chest before pulling a clean shirt over his head. For a moment she again flashed back to that night on the roof when Coulson had shed his SHIELD sweatshirt and put it on her when she couldn't stop shivering. She remembered how his warmth had somehow seeped out of the fabric and into her skin.

Tossing the towel on the chair next to the bed she helped him lie back against the pillows and then moved to the door. His hand on her arm stopped her. She turned and saw the unspoken plea.

"I'll be right back," she said softly. He let go of her arm.

_TBC_

_2 more chapters to go, please review._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Once outside Coulson's bunk May took a few deep breaths. This was it, the moment she had dreaded ever since Fury had come clean about (at least part of) project TAHITI. Everything in her was screaming to keep it together. Fury had trusted her with this mission for a reason. She was the one who could put aside emotion, the one who could make the difficult decisions. But Coulson…Phil. It had never been the same with Phil as it had been with anyone else. Fury might be able to see a lot, but May knew that if he could have seen that deeply inside of her, he would have given the mission to someone else.

She made her way back to her own bunk and found Skye pacing back and forth. The tablet lay on the bed, screen black. Skye was so caught up in her panic that she didn't notice when May opened the door. Didn't acknowledge the other woman's presence until May said her name. Then her head whipped around and May could see fear mixed with hope.

"He's okay," May said, cutting off the inevitable question. "He needs to sleep. And so do you."

Skye crossed her arms over her chest, May recognized the self-hugging defense mechanism, it was one she was all too familiar with. "It's happening isn't it? We're going to lose our minds like the others."

"I don't know," May said, not willing to lie. "But what I do know is, we're going to do everything we can to fix it. Tomorrow, Simmons will start running tests and we will find the answer. But right now…"

"I know," Skye interrupted, her shoulders slumping. "Sleep. Should be no problem at all to drift off. Not like I have a ticking time bomb in my brain just waiting to send me to the looney bin. Does SHIELD have a looney bin? Like a secret fridge for people who go crazy but don't have magical powers? Oh my god they're going to put me…" Her rant was cut off by a giant yawn.

May let a small smile creep onto her face. These days it was nice when things were familiar. And right now it was nice to know that Skye was still Skye.

"Okay maybe you have a point about sleep," Skye said. She picked up her tablet and walked into the hallway. May followed silently behind, standing in the doorway of Skye's bunk until the younger woman was actually in bed. When she turned to leave Skye called out.

"Promise me you won't let me hurt anyone."

May felt a tightness in her chest but her face remained passive.

"I know what Garrett did at the facility. I could see through Mike's eyes. I saw what he did to that general, what he did to Coulson. You have to promise that you'll stop me, no matter what. You can't let me hurt them."

May moved to stand beside Skye's bed.

"Please," Skye said, tears leaking from her eyes, "you can't let me be a monster."

"Listen to me," May said, "you could never be a monster."

"How can you say that? My parents massacred an entire village. I've got an alien's internal…I don't know…juice inside me that apparently makes people go nuts, scrawl on walls, and tear ribs out of chests." Skye let out a sob. "You can't let me hurt them. Please, please just promise you'll put a bullet in my…"

"Enough," May said sternly. The force of her voice startled Skye out of the rant. Her body sagged against the bed, tears falling silently on the pillow.

May took a deep breath, reached out, and brushed the hair out of Skye's face. "Garrett hurt people because he wanted to. He was already evil. I don't know what happened to your parents or why they did what they did, but what I do know is that an entire village of people gave their lives because they believed you were worth the sacrifice. Because they believed you weren't a monster. I don't think they were wrong, do you?"

Skye shook her head, looking up at May as though she had all the answers and May was struck by just how young the hacker really was. How desperate for acceptance and family. How destroyed by Ward's betrayal.

"I promise," May continued, "I won't let you hurt the team. But I don't think that decision will be up to me."

With that, May squeezed Skye's shoulder and once she was sure Skye would at least attempt to sleep she walked out of the bunk, closing the door with a soft click.

May next moved to Simmons' room and silently turned the handle, opening the door a crack. With the dim light from the hall she could just make out Jemma's sleeping face. Leaving just as silently as she came she made her way back to Coulson's bunk. Her team might be broken and beaten down, but she would make sure they slept tonight.

_TBC_

_One chapter left, please leave a review if you have the time._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

May half expected to find Coulson asleep when she returned to his bunk. Instead she opened the door and found an empty bed. Swallowing the initial panic she quickly scanned the room and saw that the bathroom light was one. Pushing the door open she saw Coulson standing at the sink, hands gripping the sides so tightly she could see white knuckles. His face and hair were dripping wet again but this time she guessed it was from water instead of sweat.

"Hypergraphia," he said, his voice nearly devoid of inflection. He turned towards her and smiled wryly. "Can't wait for the psychosis to start."

May said nothing. She'd known him long enough to understand that he wasn't looking for a response.

Coulson ran a hand over his face. "I trust that should the appropriate time present itself you're prepared to follow Fury's original orders to completion?"

"Skye asked me the same thing."

"Skye knows?"

"Saw you on the surveillance cams. Came and got me."

"I'll talk to her in the morning," he said, looking up at May for approval.

May stared back at him.

"Fine," Coulson sighed, turning off the bathroom light and climbing back into bed. "And I'll let Simmons start running tests.

The corners of May's mouth turned up almost unperceptively. She waited until he was settled and then sat down at the foot of his bed.

"You think you can stare me into sleep," Coulson asked.

May quirked an eyebrow.

Coulson chuckled. "Fair enough."

The pair was silent for several minutes. Coulson stared up at the ceiling, one arm tucked behind his head. May stared at Coulson. At first she was looking for any sign of…well she wasn't sure but anything that would indicate he was about to lose control again. After a while however, she stared at him because she couldn't help it. It was a redundant task, she already had him memorized.

"You know what's strange?" Coulson said eventually, still refusing to look at her.

May remained silent. What was she supposed to say? It was strange that he was etching complicated pictures and charts into a wall seemingly against his will? That they were stuck at a secret base in the middle of nowhere trying to rebuild a fallen organization from scratch? That he might be losing his mind? That Fitz might never wake up? That Ward was locked away in a cell instead of down the hall helping to keep them safe? That the idea of losing Coulson filed her with so much fear it was nearly impossible to breath sometimes? These were strange times full of strange situations. So she stayed quiet and waited for him to continue.

"Now that the Tahiti memories are gone, I've been remembering more and more about, about after."

"You mean…after after?"

Coulson gave an incredulous look. "No, not the hereafter. After all the procedures. After the GH drug. When I was actually in Bethesda."

May felt her pulse quicken and she focused on keeping her face still. This was not where she expected the conversation to go.

"I remember," Coulson continued, "I remember you."

May was assaulted by memories. She closed her eyes and could hear the pain in Natasha's voice over the phone, telling her that Coulson had died. She could taste the bile that had risen up. She could feel Maria's hand on her shoulder as they watched the coffin being lowered into the ground.

Fury had found her four days after the funeral, holed up in Coulson's apartment as drunk as she had ever been. It was perhaps the gentlest she had ever seen the former director. He'd kneeled in front of the armchair she'd been sitting in for nearly two days and whispered that Coulson was alive. That he was at Bethesda recovering. That he could never know how or why, and could never remember anything. Through the whiskey-haze she'd clutched at the word "alive."

After a shower, coffee, and a change of clothes, she found herself in his hospital room, watching his chest rise and fall like a cliché from a terrible movie.

"I remember," Coulson said, "that every time I opened my eyes you were there. Even when everything hurt so badly I just wanted to die again and again and again you were there. You kept me alive. They took away the memory of pain. But they also took my memories of you. It wasn't until today when you…when you…" He trailed off, unsure of how to continue.

May moved and laid down next to him on the bed. When he turned on his side to face her she touched her forehead to his. Just like she'd done countless times in the hospital, when he'd groaned in pain and begged for death and it seemed like every cell of his body was twisted. She'd held his hand, leaned her forehead against his, and stared into his eyes until the pain had passed and he fell into sleep again.

Now, in this familiar position, she felt him shudder. She reached out and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm here," she said, the same words she'd told him over and over again in that hospital room.

He nodded, his head still resting against hers.

"Sleep," she whispered.

"Stay?"

In reply she pulled away slightly and reached over to turn off the bedside light. She lay back beside him, no longer touching but no further away.

"Whatever happens," she said into the darkness, "we'll figure it out."

He was silent and she knew he was trying to believe her. His breathing began to even out but just when she thought he might have fallen asleep she felt him cup her face with his hand. Mapping her features with him thumb.

"I'd have gone through TAHITI a hundred times if I'd known it would lead me here. I'd take that staff through my heart again if someone promised me that when it was over, you'd be next to me."

May felt tears escaping her eyes, felt him brush them away. Another stupid movie cliché that for some reason felt genuine because it was him.

"I'm glad you came back," he whispered. "Don't let me tell you to leave again."

May covered his hand with her own and squeezed his fingers. "I'll kick your ass if you even try."

**The End**

_Thanks for reading! Reviews make my day. I hope to return to this universe soon, I love these characters so much._


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